I've been waiting to say that for a while

I was warned about so-called feminists. I was told by boyfriends, relatives, professors and other disreputable sources that such women were ambitious, sharp-tongued, a little too smart for their own good. They told me that only women who couldn’t get laid got political. They told me what was perhaps the biggest and most interesting lie of all: that independence and ambition were unattractive in a woman. They also suggested, subtly but seriously, that too much of a sense of humor in a woman made her unattractive (a comment to which comedian Elayne Boosler would reply “Comedy is very, very sexy when it’s done right”). Luckily, during a moment that eclipsed all earlier illumination, I heard a female graduate student repeat a wonderful line from writer Robin Morgan, “We are the women that men have warned us about.” It was as if the little lightbulb that appeared over Bugs Bunny’s head when he got an idea suddenly appeared over mine. It seemed unnerving, actually, that I was gazing reprovingly at all those qualities that I myself possessed. I was certainly ambitious, ready to speak and eager to defend my position on a subject. I liked being a woman, was proud of my femininity and believed myself to be equal to any task set before me by society—at least as well equipped to deal with them as any guy I sat next to in class (he could no more skin a bison than I could and I could probably defend myself on Tenth Avenue more ably than he).

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